Are You Living It?

Flagstaff is hot, and anyone who lives here in the summer is absolutely crazy. I mean it. You have no excuse, because even if you like it, it’s not good for you.

(Slurp) And I know what’s good for you. Stop smiling at me.. that makes me uncomfortable.

(Glug) Like you know something I don’t know. I am not delirious! You are, deliriouth. Who says I have to drink water? That’s a dumb rule. You, are dumb too. I am not! I mean I am, making sense, that is. Why won’t my right hand work?

(Gurgle, glug, hiss) How’d you get up there all of the sudden, like your standing over me or something. More like lording over me. You think your my boss, my jefe? No, I don’t need a hand; this dirt is sooo sandy and soft.

Who cares if I purr? Don’t look so concerned, I had a latte this morning and a piece of quiche. Did you know, um, do you know that if… you put the dirt in your nostrils you can smell the different minerals, like um, dust, and pine needle. I’m bonding with the earth. Of course I know what an IV is. We’re going to get one now? Oh goody!